rate this poem pleez
The Last Time
This is the last time I will ever look at you
For all the lies that you told and the things that you do
This is the last time I will ever say hello
Because your heart is hard and needs to mellow
This is the last time you will ever talk to me
Because I am not stupid and won%26#039;t be under lock and key
This is the last time I will ever sit with you
Because everything you say I know is not true
So since this is the last we shall ever meet
And see eye to eye as we cross the street
And this is the last word you ever heard me say
Goodbye, forever now, starting today.
What do you think ppl?
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For a 14 year old that%26#039;s really very good.
I would only suggest that you try to improve your vocabulary.
Keep it up!
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I think this poem has a good theme, and could work well as the lyrics to a song. However, to make it better, I think you should use stronger words to convey a mood (angry, disappointed). I also feel that the rhyming is holding you back.
Overall, this is a very good poem.
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I loved this poem good job!!! I am also 13 going on 14 and write poetry.
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Good poem. A rhyming dictionary might help, and %26quot;Because I am not stupid...%26quot; is a statement you may wish to reconsider and revise (the rest of your poem may make this statement unnecessary).
Enjoyed reading your work.
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