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i sent my poem to poetry.com but they refused to publish it .. right now i%26#039;m so upset .. donno what to do ..

May be it was a wrong idea to write an English poem ? ( As i%26#039;m an Arabian guy ) .. May be i%26#039;m not that good in English ? .. donno ..

can you just please rate my poem and tell me how to edit it to make it even acceptable ?

Brother

I can feel your blood

Flowing in my heart,

I can hear your breath

Moving in my lungs,

I can see your tears

Running down my face,

My life without you

Is an empty place,

Because your land is my land,

Because your blood is my blood,

And your soul is my soul,

Cause we all are one hand,

When you cry

I feel your pain,

When you are wounded

I bleed again,

When you feel happy

I fly high,

When you succeed

I can touch the sky.

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I like it. Read it thrice already. Put it to music and make it into a song.

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FREAKY

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stop rhyming

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8.9! It brought tears to my eyes. It is so sweet, true, and calming. I love it!

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Its good man!

Are u in love?

I think so .

Dont bother the launguage!

I am not american too .

Keep up ,

Nikos , Greece

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its not freaky!!! Its called poetry!and its supposed to rhyme.... I thought it was really good and if they diddnt publish it then thats their own loss! well good luck and Im sure you find someone that will!!!

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i think it was a little dramatic for them, but i thought it was very emotional... in a good way. i think you shouldn%26#039;t change it. it%26#039;s very good.

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I liked it.

I would rate it like 8.5

hope you have luck later on though!

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oh my gosh! that poem is so beautiful! 10/10

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~It%26#039;s nice, but doesn%26#039;t tell why your brother is in so such pain.

%26quot;Cause we all are one hand,%26quot; that doesn%26#039;t make sense. So if we knew WHY he was in so much pain, it might be a good poem. Thanks for sharing.~

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i thought it was alright. you don%26#039;t need any English help here pal... i understood it. basically, you are saying that you and your brother are close, and have a good kin ship w/ each other. i do not know exactly why they didnt publish it. but just know, that is not an excuse to not continue writing poetry. maybe try writing about something not soo deep. i mean, just like %26quot;skim the surface%26quot; like.... i dunno....... TC

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I thought it was pretty amazing.

I would rate it around an 8.5 also.

Just keep on writing poems you are pretty good at them.

Good Luck!

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Sorry, it did nothing for me. But I see your passion has driven you to write about it. And that always a noble thing as your poem is. Nice job.

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Nice Job!!!! Keep up the good work.

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It%26#039;s close. Funny because my friend and I were talking about poetry last night. She said that reading a poem backwards is a good thing to get in the habbit of.

So try this. Open up a word document and write the thing starting with the last line and ending with the first.

Cool, right? Change a few words and you%26#039;ve got it. I think it sounds so much better when you read it backwards. A poem must flow well both backwards and forwards.

Best of luck!

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what%26#039;s beautiful about your poem is that you wrote about something you know and feel for..

that%26#039;s always the best idea when u want to write: it should come from the heart!

but... it sounds too stereotype!

plus, you%26#039;re repeating yourself too much. most of the sentences look and sound similar.

your English is good. and that%26#039;s a good step.

remember: a poem should have a melody in it. but not monotony though.

so, write in any language u feel comfortable with, always write your feelings and experiences.

with talent and a lot of practice, you%26#039;ll get there for sure!!

good luck.!

PS: i just read the others answers and noticed that a lot of people didn%26#039;t understand what your poem was about.

I%26#039;m Arab too, and I think this poem is about the Arab community as a whole.

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I liked the poem, but i don%26#039;t think the second paragraph quite fits the feeling of the other 2 other paragraphs. on scale of 1-10 I give it a strong 8

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WOW thats good...don%26#039;t stop at poetry.com get the real deal and have it published

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HI!

I really don%26#039;t want to be brutal...but most of 4th graders could write something like this...........this is a %26quot;poem%26quot; full of rhymes, but it isn%26#039;t real poetry....................sorry man

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Nice, just hoping that is really yours... jeje

Why don%26#039;t you add some other metaphors, but not as easy to understand. Anyone who reads it should have a different interpretation of a same metaphor. What I see now is that anyone who reads have the same interpretation of every single phrase, then is not as valuable as it can be.

Regards.