Rate my song!?

Rate it on a scale of 1-10. I wrote this song for my crush. Explain what I did good and/or what I did bad, etc. Yes this means I want your opinions and criticism!

It%26#039;s called %26quot;Be Mine%26quot;

Every night

I aways wish

On that shooting star

I always wish

That the next day

I could see

Your warming smile

Whenever I see you

My heart seems to ache

And I want to blurt out

How much I love you

[chorus:]

Be Mine!!

I feel so alone

And I want us to be able

To share our feelings!

I want you to understand

When I say

Be mine!!

Haven%26#039;t you noticed

That odd stare?

I only stare at you

Because I enjoy

Watching you be happy!

Be mine!

I feel so alone

And I want us to be able

To share our feelings!

I want you to understand

When I say

Be mine!

------

That%26#039;s all I%26#039;ve got, so also, should I add more? I want to make sure it%26#039;s good before I give it to my crush.

Rate my song!?

the lyrics are lovely...you nearly made me cry coz you obviously have very strong feelings for this person and your emotions really come through very clear. HOWEVER, try not to make it sound like you%26#039;re too %26#039;needy%26#039; for this person and that YOU need this person to MAKE you happy coz that can make it quite kinda off-putting if you sound like the relationships gonna get too serious, too soon!

The person might feel trapped and feel guilty at the thought of you being %26quot;all alone%26quot; and %26quot;needing%26quot; this other person to make your life better. He or she might feel %26#039;pressure%26#039;. It also makes you sound quite a %26quot;depressing%26quot; person to be around and there are not many guys and girls out there who would want to go out with a %26quot;lonely, sad%26quot; person.

Instead most people want a happy, cheery partner that%26#039;s easy going and enjoys life. Most people want a partner that willl make them laugh and they can have a giggle together and enjoy life...not someone who%26#039;s %26#039;doom and gloom%26#039;, depressed and lonely, desperate...

SO, if I were you, keep most of the lyrics the same because they%26#039;re lovely, but take out the lines that make you sound all gloomy and deressed...i.e.%26quot;Be Mine!!

I feel so alone%26quot; These lines don%26#039;t seem to go well together. they sound kinda depressing to me...

It%26#039;s interesting that in the song, you say that you enjoy watching this person you love %26quot;being happy%26quot;...so don%26#039;t you think that this person will also enjoy the the thought of you being a happy, cheery, fun partner to be with??

Good luck and I hope that you win over his or her heart with your beautiful song. After a few changes your song will be amazing (10/10) and hopefully melt their heart. :) Good luck, hope my comments helped.

Rate my song!?

aww i like it :)

Rate my song!?

Pretty good. I think he%26#039;ll like it. Except for the stare part. It sounds sort of odd. Because I enjoy watching you happy? Change it. Otherwise its good.

Rate my song!?

Well for the looks of it, it%26#039;s good, but i can%26#039;t give a full judgment in till i hear it in a song.

Rate my song!?

I could see that become a hit song. I like it.

10/10.

Rate my song!?

9, that had wonderful lyrics.