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Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Rate my POEM! I need some help?

rate this poem pleez



The Last Time



This is the last time I will ever look at you



For all the lies that you told and the things that you do



This is the last time I will ever say hello



Because your heart is hard and needs to mellow



This is the last time you will ever talk to me



Because I am not stupid and won%26#039;t be under lock and key



This is the last time I will ever sit with you



Because everything you say I know is not true



So since this is the last we shall ever meet



And see eye to eye as we cross the street



And this is the last word you ever heard me say



Goodbye, forever now, starting today.



What do you think ppl?



Rate my POEM! I need some help?

For a 14 year old that%26#039;s really very good.



I would only suggest that you try to improve your vocabulary.



Keep it up!



Rate my POEM! I need some help?

I think this poem has a good theme, and could work well as the lyrics to a song. However, to make it better, I think you should use stronger words to convey a mood (angry, disappointed). I also feel that the rhyming is holding you back.



Overall, this is a very good poem.



Rate my POEM! I need some help?

I loved this poem good job!!! I am also 13 going on 14 and write poetry.



Rate my POEM! I need some help?

Good poem. A rhyming dictionary might help, and %26quot;Because I am not stupid...%26quot; is a statement you may wish to reconsider and revise (the rest of your poem may make this statement unnecessary).



Enjoyed reading your work.

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